Today marks exactly five years since our family boarded a plane with ten overstuffed suitcases to move from Cape Town, South Africa to my hometown in West Michigan.
By that point I had lived in South Africa for ten and a half years. My husband and kids were all born in South Africa and had never lived anywhere else. I was going back to the town where I grew up, but it had changed over the decade I’d been away, and so had I.
When I think about the fact that it’s been five years, I feel mixed emotions. I miss South Africa and her people immensely, yet I’m immensely grateful for the time we’ve had here in the States. The Lord has been good and faithful as He always is, and we are grateful.
Read more about our experience in Cape Town and how I ended up there in the first place in my memoir, A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging.
(Affiliate links have been used in this post, which means I’ll get a teeny tiny commission at no extra cost to you if you choose to click through this link to make a purchase.)
Looking back over the past five years, I came up with five things I do miss about South Africa, and five things I don’t miss about living there.
Here’s my list of five dos and don’ts:
I do miss our family and friends — of course. More than anything else in South Africa. My husband hasn’t seen his mom or brother in five whole years, my kids haven’t seen their Ouma or uncle, we haven’t seen our dear church family or other friends. Five years is a long time, and much has changed on both sides.
I don’t miss being over 8,000 miles away from my sister and other family and friends here in the States. Even after five years, it still remains such an enormous blessing to live just four miles away from my sister. I doubt I’ll ever get over it.
I do miss the sense of community that exists in South Africa. As a gross generalization, Americans are quite individualistic. When we first arrived in Michigan, my daughter asked if we could go over to someone’s house. I said, “No honey, we haven’t been invited.” She just stared at me. The concept of having to be invited fell flat on her. “Well, can’t you just call them and ask them to invite us?”
I don’t miss the crime rate in South Africa. I’ll admit I was consistently on edge while living in Cape Town. Praise God we didn’t have any physical harm done to us while we were there, but the threat was real. Muggings, hijackings, shootings, human trafficking and other crimes are common — more rampant in the cities, of course. We did have our car stolen twice, a handful of attempted break-ins, and an actual break-in during which the perpetrator hid on our property for over four hours while we were there.
I do miss the mountain. Table Mountain is a glorious sight to behold. I never grew tired of staring at her majesty. Now we have Lake Michigan at our doorstep which is another significant blessing I can’t discount, but overall my hometown is remarkably flat. No hills, let alone a mountain. In Cape Town we could see mountains, ocean, city, and winelands from one vantage point.
I don’t miss not having central heating in our house. People don’t believe me when I tell them, but it gets cold in South Africa. And they don’t have indoor heating apart from fireplaces or space heaters. On several occasions in the winter (which happens to be during America’s summer), I could see my breath inside the house. It’s not uncommon to wear multiple layers including jackets, scarves, and hats during a church service.
I do miss the diversity. Living in Cape Town, I could hear multiple languages and accents in any given hour. People of every shade strolled the streets. Now in West Michigan, our town is predominantly white and predominantly middle class. The only non-white kids in church and my kids’ school are adopted, and there are only a handful of them. Yes, we could certainly choose to live in a more diverse part of the U.S. but for now we’re choosing to be close to family, and that decision means very little diversity.
I don’t miss the lack of ease and convenience. Yes, comfort is addictive. Yes, convenience can become idolatrous. And no, I don’t love what ease and convenience have done to me and my increasing lack of patience, but it sure is nice have everything I could want at my fingertips. (And yes, I am fully aware of the privilege dripping from this paragraph. And no, I’m not proud of it, but it’s true.)
I do miss Five Roses tea, Ouma rusks, samoosas, Mrs. Ball’s chutney, boerewors, biltong, chakalaka, Aero bars, Crunchies, and Beacon marshmallow Easter eggs.
I don’t miss the mental strain required to live as an expatriate in a foreign country. And yet, I would go back in a heartbeat. In a very real sense, living outside my comfort zone made my faith seem more tangible. I was constantly aware of my utter dependence on the Lord’s help. In America, it’s so easy to slip into a sense of apathy and self-sufficiency. I don’t need Him or His grace any less no matter where I live, but my awareness of my need was greater when I lived in Cape Town.
Whew! How’s that for a walk down memory lane? I’m so grateful for the time I had in Cape Town, and so grateful for the time I’ve had in Michigan. God is good. All the time.
I’m excited to share more about my experience moving back and forth from Michigan to Cape Town and back again in my memoir, A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging.
Related Posts:
South Africa – A Photographic Tribute
31 Days of Life in South Africa
Table Mountain is such a wonder. So much in South Africa is. I hope to go back sometime.
Kate! I can get you Five Roses tea from the South Africa shop we have here :). Wow, the years just pass. But yes, I agree that the reality of not seeing family members is so hard.
Another thing I have thought over the years of being back in the States is how my writing life has unfolded. Sometimes I wonder what that might have looked like had we stayed in South Africa. I’m sure still very neat but perhaps different too.
Thanks for sharing these memories, Kate! I went on a whirlwind tour of South Africa with my college choir nearly 14 years ago, and it left some indelible memories! It was such a country of contrasts…the landscape, the people, even the weather! We were there right at the beginning of winter, and one day a few of us braved the cold atop Table Mountain. Truly breathtaking, but also cold and windy!
Having lived in 2 countries myself, I can relate to almost everything you mentioned here. I laughed at your daughter’s surprise when you said that we need to be invited to visit. In India, it’s the same. We can just drop in anytime we feel like and that is no big deal. With the arrival of cell phones, they would maybe text or call before, (which might give just enough time to clear up the living room) but that is not required 🙂
Completely agree with your statement “living outside my comfort zone made my faith seem more tangible”. Comfort often takes away our dependence on God, every single moment. But an awareness of this fact, has helped me realize that all this could be taken away in a moment and that every blessing is His!
Thanks for sharing this. Loved reading it.
Oh Kate, how I empathize with so much of what you share here. South Africa sounds so much like New Zealand 😊. I’m still the expat though, although after so many years in the Netherlands (14 years), I am starting to feel more Dutch. I so miss the mountains too … it’s VERY flat here. I am so blessed that I do get to go home more often though. But I wish we lived close to my family – especially my youngest sister and her baby – we got to meet her for the first time in December- she was already 9 months old. Oh man how hard it is FaceTiming now – I just want to go through the screen to get my hugs and kisses in. There’s just something about family. I can’t wait to read your book. I know I’ll cry through it – also because of our similar journeys with our Moms. Sending you hugs from across the oceans from your Kiwi-Dutch sister in the Lord. May God take your words to those who need them most.
This makes me want to visit South Africa. Like, a lot.
So nice to read about your experience, Kate. Loving these gorgeous photos!
I loved reading this! Since I finished reading your book I wondered how long you’d been back in the states and what that has felt like.
Also – these pictures are BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks Kate, for sharing these awestruck memories of south africa, your family,and you. In reading this I could only hope for a sequel. Your book a place to land is as awefilled as you are.
You will be greatly missed, but im looking forward to hearing more about south africa the culture and yes table top mountain. Im excited for you, and am grateful that you have included us to go on this journey with you. Kates memoir is one of excellency like no other you will be caotivated if you havent read it yet. Its an excellent read and im sure you will be surprised to find its not only her story but somehow the holy spirit uses her story to engage your own. Im sure you will find a good friend a tremendous healing a fun journey through many times of laughter and tears.
It’s winter now in SA….July. The days are getting warmer, but the nights inland are very cold.
I wear several layers of clothing inside, including thermal underwear, woolen socks AND MY CANADIAN FUR SNOW BOOTS…..indoors. During the day, very often in Johannesburg where I live, it is cooler inside than it is outside. Electricity has become very expensive, so instead of putting a heater on, I don another layer of clothing!
At present, it’s 13 degrees Celcius inside.
Your writing is so beautiful and your story so relatable. I know what you mean about the lack of diversity in West Michigan – when I first moved back here after living in San Francisco for five years, it was culture shock. Yes, everyone is white and middle class. But I had also lived in Miami where the crime is terrible we feel so much safer now that we’re back in Michigan. And that feeling is priceless. And living with it being cold inside your house? No. Absolutely not. Wouldn’t be able to stand that.
Lovely article.
Oh, and I forgot to say…..glad you’re here, Kate. I wish the Lord’s best and every blessing for you and your family.
Yes! To everything you said. I am an American (who grew up in Michigan) and then spent 11 years in South Africa. Though I lived in Johannesburg and not Cape Town, we visited and it is a magical place. Table Mountain! I am always thankful when friends send and bring Five Roses tea (and roiboos and honeybush blended tea). I miss Woolies.There is nothing like Aeros and boerwors and biltong. I also don’t miss the crime and tension of watching everything carefully around us, or watching my blonde baby girl carefully. But I love the sense of community and the lifestyle we enjoyed in South Africa. I often tell my friends here that South Africans know how to live, really live. I’m glad to be here now, closer to family, but oh, how I wish that “floo powder” were a thing. I would travel often! Thank you for sharing!
South Africa is on my bucket list- I’ve tried to get there for over 15 years. Hoping to visit in the next few years God willing.
Loving the book btw, reading it makes me want to visit even more. Thanks so much for sharing your story!