Welcome to another round of Five Minute Friday!
If it’s your first time, an extra special welcome to you! We always love meeting new friends.
To learn more about FMF, click here.
This week’s Five Minute Friday prompt is:
I didn’t expect to make this word the prompt this week, but I received two requests from people regarding projects that both related to the same thing: motherhood. Interestingly, both projects are reflecting on the issue of the identity of a mother. And of course, with Mother’s Day happening this weekend, I figured I might as well tie it all together in a pretty bow.
Since I love supporting fellow writers and artists, I’m thrilled to be able to share links to these two projects with you:
The first is a brand new book by Five Minute Friday community member Shauna Blaak.
It’s called, Identity: Finding the Proverbs 31 Woman in the Middle of Kid Chaos.
On her website, Shauna writes, “Are you stuck in kid chaos? Do you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, ‘Who is that person?’
Are you wading through mountains of laundry and diapers and realizing that somewhere, somehow, you’ve gotten lost in the mess?
Or perhaps your kids are older now, a little more independent and a whole lot more opinionated, and you ask yourself, “Who am I now?”
My friend, this book is for you!
The Proverbs 31 Woman… You don’t have to hate her anymore. You don’t even have to compete with her. This creative and interactive study into IDENTITY and finding out WHO GOD SAYS WE ARE will have you breathing a sigh of relief.
Join us on an exciting journey of making friends with the Proverbs 31 Woman and find yourself in the unconditional love of a Good Father!
You’ll love this book on your own, but you’ll love it even more when you do it together with friends. Perfect for Mommy groups and Ladies Bible Studies.”
Sounds like a good one, hey? Congratulations, Shauna!
The second project is called Define: Mother. And yes, if you click through, you’ll notice that most of the text is in German; just click on a specific blog post and scroll down for English. Sophie Kroher is a storytelling photographer and good friend of FMF community member Katha Von Dessien (who just signed a book contract, by the way!).
Here’s more about Sophie and Define: Mother …
In 2014 our first son was stillborn. The most hurtful thing I’ve ever heard in my life, shortly after that, was: “You will be a mama one day, too.” Well, I wasn’t one?
What makes a woman a mother? To raise a child? To hold a child? To give birth to a child? To grow a child? To conceive a child? To hope for a child? To love a child? Define: mother.
“Define: mother” is a project that asks those questions without expecting the one answer. It is a forum for women who are wondering about their own motherhood and tell us about their wanderings on this path.
And here’s a snippet of one moving post:
“In 2014 our first son was born way too early, completely unexpected and unaccountable. He could not survive. I believe that everything inside of me was torn apart in this moment. In the first weeks after his birth I didn’t leave the house. Now I know that the reason for this was fear and shame. Fear and shame to meet people I know and needing to explain something to them, explain myself, explain my “failure”. Fear and shame that people I did not know wouldn’t see me – couldn’t see me – the way I saw myself, as a mother. The most hurtful thing someone said to me during those weeks was “You will be a mama someday!” I’m glad I don’t remember who said that. But it affected me deeply and it was wrong. I was a mama!
A mother is a woman who allows her identity to be inexplicably molded by the love of a child. Allowing this always inherits a deep pain – when this child is not, is not anymore. When you have to let go. Every mother has to let go, sooner or later, again and again. Like a butterfly.
A mother also is a woman in a constant process of becoming, of finding this identity, her identity, all over again. And again. Yes, like a butterfly.”
Click through to read more and to view the beautiful photographs in Define: Mother.
And now, we write.
Setting my timer for five minutes, and let’s …
For the past six years, inevitably somewhere around mid- to late-April, I cringe at least once a day when I check my email or walk into a store. I can’t escape it.
It comes at me from the unlikeliest of places — oil change specials, pizza deals, insurance plans. Everybody has to mention it.
I avert my eyes, scroll past the subject line, walk faster past that display.
I click delete, but it’s not enough to delete the pain.
This will be the sixth Mother’s Day without my mom.
For perhaps the first time, I’m finally at a place where I’m learning to peak through the closed curtains of my heart. It’s time to stop dwelling inwardly and start looking out.
I lift my chin and tilt my head, and I see others whose wounds are fresher than mine. I see those whose scars have a slightly different shape.
I see that I’m not the only one.
To all the women out there who are aching this weekend, may you sense the Lord’s nearness and peace.
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It’s your turn! Share your own five minute free write below, then visit your link-up neighbor and leave a comment!
Disclosure: Affiliate links have been used in this post.
Beautiful post, Kate. I appreciated the Mother projects you shared about. How exciting for Shauna!
And Define: Mother. Yes. As a woman who miscarried and never conceived again, Mother’s Day was downright painful. And I could tell you stories about how that lack in me was flaunted, usually unintentionally, leaving me feeling “less-than.” I had a baby in heaven. I just didn’t have one in my arms, or that people could see. There are different kinds of mothers.
I hope your weekend holds some smiles, my friend. Hugs.
This is really lovely and heart-wrenching, Kate. Praying for you.
Sending hugs your way, Kate!
Wow, Kate! What a delightful surprise to wake up this morning and see my book featured on your post. Thank you so much for the honour!
And thank you for sharing your journey with us about your mom. I must admit that in the busyness of the season (my younger son’s bday is also this weekend), I often forget to look around with eyes of compassion to those who are hurting. Thank you for the reminder.
The Word of God promises that He’ll give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. My prayer for you is that step by step, day by day, year by year, your healing will be so complete that there will be only sweetness instead of pain. That’s our God.
I appreciate you, my friend. Praying for you this weekend. Thanks again❤️
Kate, this is my fifth. Will we ever stop counting? ((xo))
Beautiful post. This is my second Mother’s Day without mom. I can’t complain though because I was blessed to have her for so long. But I sure do miss her.
Thanks for allowing me to join in here on FMF. I so enjoy it.
I started this blog three times before I settle on one. You just have to make a decision! I have 2 children, but 2 stillborns, Yes 25 years ago, but the anguish can return in a moment, and Mother’s Day is a vulnerable time for me, although I still have my other 2. My own mother, gone now 16 years, but still…we are a cacophony of emotions and it’s okay. It’s what makes us mothers.Thank you for sharing your heart. #23.
That’s beautiful, Kate. I too lost my mom, in 2014. I admire how you say you are now ready to look out and see others with fresher wounds. I know you will be such a source of comfort to others on the grieving journey.
You are a gift Kate.
Hugs to you today Kate. Thanks for sharing your heart here.
Thank you, Kate, for being vulnerable and sharing your heart. Moms are special people. I can see how six years is still not long enough to fully heal as she’ll always have a special place in your heart. Blessings, dear one!
So sorry for your pain, but thankful that you are making the difficult choice of moving forward and reaching out to others who are hurting. May God grant you all his peace.