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This week’s prompt is:
Ready? GO.
I finished a fourth round of revisions on my book this week. I feel good about how it’s coming together, but I naively thought that since it was my fourth round of revisions, I could forego the whole crying part.
But no matter which way you cut it or how many times you return to the page, writing from the depths is emotional work.
[Tweet “Writing from the depths is emotional work. ~@k8motaung”]
I waded through the whole gamut of feelings in just a few short days: tears over the harder parts of my story, elation that I made it to the end, satisfaction of a job well done, then an unexpected emptiness. Much of my book includes my mom’s cancer journey. Spoiler alert: She dies in the end. And as nice as it feels to be at this point in the publishing process, I would always rather have my mom here than a book with my name on it.
I spent the better part of my day wishing this was not my story. Wanting her back. Wanting to give the book contract back in exchange for my mom.
But that’s not the lot I’ve been given.
This is my story. This is my song. And it’s my job to steward it to the best of my ability so that God gets all the glory.
There is purpose in pain, friends.
[Tweet “Your pain has a purpose. ~@k8motaung”]
And while I may not be able to foresee how God might use these feeble, humble words that have been written and re-written and prayed and cried over, I know He has used them to shape and refine me. And His purpose is always perfect.
[Tweet “Even if we can’t see the end, God’s purpose is always perfect. ~@k8motaung”]
STOP.
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Congratulations on finishing your book! May the Holy Spirit comfort you as you recover from your writing and mourn the loss of a project well done (sounds weird to mourn a job well done…but, well, it’s DONE!).
Yes, Kate, God does always have purpose in pain. I’m comforted by the truth that He is not capricious, and He never wastes a thing. Even pain. I’m truly sorry you don’t have your mom here. I suspect God is going to use your story to touch many lives.
Hugs.
I truly believe God intends there to be purpose in every.single.thing. God’s rich blessings and successful round of editing!!! xo
Kate, thank you for sharing this post. It is so true that no matter our story, “it’s my job to steward it to the best of my ability so that God gets all the glory.” Grateful to be reminded to steward my story well. Blessings!
Thanks so much for this, Kate. I am really looking forward to reading your book when it comes out. I lost my mom to cancer too, in late summer 2014; she was ill for a very short time and died 6 weeks after her diagnosis. You’re so right: we have to write the story we have been given, even if we wish it were a different one.
Congratulations. I am so happy for you and my heart breaks for you too. What a gift to your mother.
Kate, I am so glad that you will be able to touch hearts just where they need to be touched most. I am sorry for the pain that you have had to experience, but it is surely a witness to the love you have received and share. God bless you.