Know someone who is experiencing conflict in their marriage?

Looking for a boost in your own relationship?

Going to a wedding this summer?

Here is my personal list of books I recommend on marriage.





My husband and I have been married for over a decade, and since he is a pastor, we’ve had numerous opportunities to meet with couples for marriage counseling. Whenever someone asks me for a good book on marriage, these books are included in my answer:


Love and Respect

Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs

“Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs is my #1 marriage recommendation book. It talks about a woman’s need to be loved and a man’s need to be respected, and the vicious cycle that happens when one or both of those are lacking in a relationship.  Every person I know who has read this book has raved about how much its message resonated with them and their own situation.




Strengthening Your Marriage

Strengthening Your Marriage, by Wayne Mack

This book has great doctrine and theology on marriage, but what I most appreciate are the discussion questions.  The questions are so thorough and deep that they addressed issues my husband and I had never talked about even after a year-long engagement and eight weeks of pre-marital counseling. We use this book often when conducting pre-marital counseling with other couples, but is very useful for those who have been married for a long time as well.



 Sacred Marriage

Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas

This book asks the question, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”  Of all the books, I would say this one provided the biggest challenge for me personally.  It caused me to think of marriage as growing in holiness and selflessness, as opposed to thinking about “what I can get out of this.”




Team Us - Cover

Team Us: Marriage Together, by Ashleigh Slater

This book is very light and conversational. It gives good tips on how to work together as a team in marriage, when the temptation is often to veer towards a “Me” vs. “Him” mentality.  It also has great discussion questions at the end of each chapter which will promote unity and oneness in the marriage relationship.

Read my review here.


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What about you?  What books have been most beneficial in your marriage?






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14 thoughts on “marriage books :: my top four recommendations

  1. I was going to say the same thing! His Needs Her Needs. It’s full of practicality. Running through his needs is great way to give myself a checkup as a wife.

  2. Great idea, I’ll continue to watch comments for suggestions. My 4? Tim Keller- Meaning of Marriage, John Piper- This Momentary Marriage, Paul Trip- What Did You Expect?, Safe Haven Marriage- Archibald Hart… unless I’m forgetting something really great and important, which I probably am… 😉

    • Ooh, I’ve heard great things about both Keller’s and Piper’s books, but haven’t read them yet. Thanks for mentioning those! And we’ve watched the What Did You Expect? DVD series (thanks to you) 😉 and really enjoyed those, but I never read the book version. Thanks for the comment!

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